shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
my poor anus
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
