I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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