I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
