I want to have your abortion
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
