Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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