Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize