imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize