LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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