Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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