we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
