I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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