Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
