Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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