soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize