We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We got so high we made milksteak
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
