ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Randomize
