I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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