operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
