Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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