I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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