i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
