i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
