These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
