9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
