Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
