Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
