oh god the rape fog is back!
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
