i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize