Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize