She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
