butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
