shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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