The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize