I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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