just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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