How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
