I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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