Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
