I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
