i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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