ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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