The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
