OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
