if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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