So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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