she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If I die, sorry about rent.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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