Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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