Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
