Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
