i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
