At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
