i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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