he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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