I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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