it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
