He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize