Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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