My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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