The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
