absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
