The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize