I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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