I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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