OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
