So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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