I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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