I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
