I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
